Emotional Support
.

Any situation which threatens life and independence causes stress and worry. This is normal and to be expected.

Understanding stress and how to reduce it's effects is important for YOU, whether you are the caregiver, the injured person or a family member. This page is tilted towards supporting the caregiver but has relevance to injured people too.

Worry: worry is natural and always happens when someone you care about has been injured. Well meaning people may urge you "not to worry" but this is impossible. One thing that can help is to make a list of all the things you are worrying about, then look at this list to work out.

  1. Those things that could be helped if you had more information and where you might get the information.
  2. Those you are able to change and how you can do this.
  3. Those you are unable to change or control.

Doing this will not solve all your problems, but at least you should find it helpful to sort out the things you can do something about.

Fatigue: You are probably trying to be many things to many people, with you usual routine pushed to one side. In the early days you may be constantly at the persons bedside, this is physically and mentally exhausting. It is important for your own health that you take breaks, go right away from the hospital and make sure you have enough food, sleep and exercise.

Overload: There is nobody who can cope with never ending intense stress. If you feel that you are overstressed, or if others warn you that they can see signs that you may not like to admit, even too yourself, then act early.

You should seek guidance, help and support before things get out of control. Try some Support Organisations. or these extra resources

Guilt: Guilt, anger and resentment. After a head injury there will often be matters which can arouse deep feelings. After an accident there may be anger over who is thought to be at fault, or there may be guilt if it is realized the accident may have been prevented. You may may feel useless and frustrated especially when the person is unconscious and unable to respond to you. these feelings can build up until it is all you think about. If you think that this is happening to you, seek help to talk through your feelings and in finding ways of handling your reactions to them. If feelings of this kind can be acknowledged and faced early much can be done to help. Burying these feelings and "soldiering on" is not helpful too you or your loved ones.

Self Preservation: The caregivers of a head injured person often find it difficult to look after their own needs because they are so wrapped up the care of the person

  1. Resume a fairly normal routine as soon as possible. Stay in touch with the outside world.
  2. Always make an effort to express your feelings everyday so emotions and worries do not get to big to handle.
  3. Learn to pace yourself, get enough sleep, and include relaxation and "play" time for yourself. You wont help the head injured person if you haven't learnt to take care of yourself.
  4. Don't neglect the other people in your family. They need to know that they haven't been forgotten. If they feel that they are not getting enough attention they may make sure that they do through unpleasant behaviour.
  5. Learn to ask for and accept help from friends and relatives. There are many ways they can help without being directly involved with the care of the person. eg. washing dishes, vacuuming, bringing in a meal, mowing the lawn, even taking you out to dinner. you may need them just to come over and talk about the weather.
  6. No one person can be all things to all people. You will not be able to cope on your own.
  7. When a person who has been independent suddenly has an accident resulting in a head injury, it can be very hard to adjust to that persons new dependence on others. Take time to sit down and work out what new responsibilities the family members will have to take on. Remember that you and other members of the family will need to get to know the person on the basis of their present condition as opposed to their past abilities.
  8. Learn to identify "burnout" which means you are reaching the point where you need to get your life in order. These are the warning signs.
    • Being constantly tired
    • Feeling continually depressed
    • Being "wiped out" or immobilized
    • Being emotional exhausted, feeling indifferent
    • Feeling disillusioned and resentful towards people
    • Feeling weak, hopeless and dejected
    • Feeling isolated and withdrawn
    • Using too much alcohol and other drugs
    • More marital and family arguments
    • Getting ill often. eg. colds and flu
    • Unmanageable feelings of guilt, blame, anger, resentment or failure
    • Difficulty in concentrating or listening to conversation

We all have these feelings at times, but if you cant shake them off within a reasonable time you should talk with a counselor..

Last update 22 Apr 2004